Substance and Form

My chef son uttered that food presentation is equally important as taste. On some occasions, If you are to make an error, it would be more acceptable to err on taste rather than on presentation. I retorted, in golf, its better to hit a bad shot with a good form than hit a good shot with a bad form. Based on this two analogies, it would appear than form is better than substance.

Appearance: how you look, the way you dress, how you behave, the way you speak or present yourself are important. It attracts attention and send a message that you are worthy to be taken seriously or to even be noticed that you exist. But appearance alone can cause anyone to miss the “forest for the trees”, so to speak. The problem with too much focus on form is to care too much about what other people think. It would be good if we care about how other people think about the wrong things that we do but sometimes we care too much about what other people think about the good things that we do or afraid to even express our individuality, our uniqueness, our special talents. We cannot be too unique, and reveal it, less we take the risk of being labelled a nerd; an outcast; a freak; or to be simply called a show off. What’s so wrong about letting people listen to your angelic voice as you sing. What’s so wrong about letting people know that you are a scientific genius and has a passion for robotics. What’s so wrong about letting people know that your a math wizard and can academically excel even without trying.

Here is a short quiz:

You are riding your bicycle at 6am with no hands because your challenging yourself to conquer your fear giving yourself only 5 holds of the handle in the duration of your 45 minute ride around your subdivision. During this time, people are starting to wake up; a few joggers around the corner; cars and motorcycles are starting to travel. Everytime you’d see people on the street, would you:
A. Hold the handle because people might think your are showboating
B. Continue with your handsfree biking because you are indeed showboating
C. Hold the handle so that people will not see your talent
D. Continue with your handsfree biking because what’s so bad about showing what you can do
E. Continue handsfree maintaining a mindset that your doing it to impress yourself and to to impress others
F. None of the above

I have my answer, what is yours?


• View things as opportunities rather than threats
• Good intent is more important than bad outcome
• Listen and learn to the wisdom of others, no one has the monopoly of all answers
• Base your judgment on fact never on assumptions
• I’d rather not say the things I cannot do
• Never let your success get to your head, we are all journeymen here on earth
• A person who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after
• Get out of the way of somebody who knows
• Do not be afraid to use technology, some genius created it
• Always try to find the beauty in people and in things
• Open up and you’ll be amazed at the possibilities.
• It is not even about what you say but how you live your life

These are the words that come out when we express our deep thoughts in a few words. All the things that we’ve seen, heard, felt, tasted and smelled influence our thoughts. All the positive events and good experiences together with the negative events and bad experiences influence our current beliefs. The words that we say and fight for are expressions of our beliefs. We should therefore be proud of all our experiences because we’ve made it to where we are now. If you are proud of whom you are, congratulations! If not, well, you better get started! Let us be proud of where we have been and what we have done or not done. We may have not studied in the best school or finish the degree that we wanted or may have worked in a company that’s not good for our resume, that’s fine all of this brought us to where we are now.


There is a direct correlation between how you feel with how you look. To be happy is perhaps the single most important ingredient to looking good and even looking younger than your age. It’s the true fountain of youth. We feel happy when we see things falling into place. It is when things are unfolding, right before our very eyes, knowing fully well that all these are made possible because of God. It sounds profound but it is what it is. It is what we have been searching for. It’s the proverbial question in the world: How to be happy?

We do not have to reinvent the wheel to be happy. Let us aspire to be like little children. When you look at a child, what do you see? Carefree; fun loving; laughs a lot without limit; very expressive with what they feel. Children are God’s gift to humanity. They serve as a reminder of the childlike qualities in all of us. With all the responsibilities that adults have, Let us enjoy life, like little children. We can cheerfully attend to our chores; laugh at our mistakes and have fun while we work. Be grateful for all the blessings. Be cheerful and amiable and it will show in our faces that happiness is the true fountain of youth.


“Do things to test your ideas rather than to impress others”. This mindset will make us execute things to perfection. Nothing beats the feeling of conquering yourself even for an instant. To be able to do exactly how you intended or envisioned, it is exhilarating! For example, being able to conquer fear; performing the habit you wanted to create; or to execute something according to your definition of perfection.

Perfection is being able to do something exactly as how you thought it should be done. The things that we are busy with are opportunities to practice our skills, express ourselves and experience congruence. Congruence is also when we are able to do exactly as we thought it should be done; when things fall into its proper place; when we see that our efforts and perseverance are paying off. It is when the world that surrounds us becomes a better place. Most importantly when we are at peace with our God. When we know there is nothing to worry about because God is the author of life, the creator of the heavens and the earth.

That is our God! The God of Jacob, The God of Isaac, and The God of Abraham. How can we doubt our God! He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, and we killed him. The sins of our forefathers are our sins. We are as much a part of that event when they crucified him. Even today, in our day-to-day existence, we continue to kill Jesus. Each time we fail to recognize that Jesus is our Way; that this is our Faith, we kill Him. Some Beliefs do not acknowledge Jesus as the Son of God, made man. That’s fine. I’m not going to argue with you! We all refer to the same Father God or God Almighty or the Source of All These Creations BUT the Faith that we were awakened to is thru Jesus Christ, The Son of God! That is our Faith! I will defend it and as we all should!


“Doubt is the poison of confidence. When you doubt, you lose trust. When you lose trust, you hesitate. You move out of fear, out of suspicion. You become tentative. You lose the ability to risk. And when you lose courage to risk, you lose courage to live you life to the fullest.”

Whenever I doubt myself, I’m sure to mess up my next shot. Doubting stops me from doing things and/or doing things excellently. I checked google what the bible has to say about doubt and I read, “Doubt is the opposite of Faith”. All of the verses regarding doubt were about not doubting the Lord our God. This was not quite the verse I was looking for. I was looking for a verse about (self) doubt. There weren’t any. In other words to conquer all of this doubts in our mind faith in God is the answer. This has been said many times over to the point that you’ll sound such a fatalist when we keep saying it. In order to make it more controllable and applicable to day to day living, faith is also believing, for as long as we remain true, in oneself. Believing in our capacity to use our God-given talents. Faith without action is dead. Action without faith is death. Faith with action can do wonders that you’ll even amaze yourself. Man, in this body, can do so much more than what we can imagine. Within bounds, we have the capacity to do things that for some people’s standards are crazy. We are, after all, created in the same image and likeness of God. Imagine what we can accomplish if we combine belief in oneself with our faith in God. We cannot even begin to imagine what difference we can make in our lives and the influence we can make in the lives of others.


There is a risk misinterpreting the law of attraction. Although what it is saying is acceptable, it gives too much focus on dreaming. What should be given equal emphasis is to focus on doing. You should act to achieve your dream. You have to think through how you can get it done; and perform the day-to-day activities that go with it Once you’ve done what must be done for that day, positive results will occur. You have to put in the positive efforts and you not only attract but achieve positive results.

Now that your dream has been set, let us achieve all those positive results by getting it done right now. Let’s do what has to be done everyday and make it a habit. It is still easier said, than done. That is because the road is not easy and there are obstacles along the way. I’ll start the list of obstacles and feel free to add:
1. Preoccupied with other non-value added activities
2. Other people’s failure
3. Habits
4. Acts of Nature
5. Excuses
6. Perplexity. You do not know where to start
7. You’re getting bored (FML).
8. Continue as you please

Looking at my list, look at yours, you’ll see that majority of it are within our control. You might ask why other people’s failure is within our control. The first thing to answer is, would you allow other people’s failures to ruin your dream? Heck, if you can’t find another person to help you do it, darn, you go do it yourself! We cannot allow anyone to screw up our plans! What the fuck! They can all be part of it!

It’s raining at 5am this morning, my time for biking. Will I allow the rain to ruin my plan? Yes or No. Although I cannot control the rain from falling but I have choices what to do with it. I can just stay indoor and do something else. I can wait for it to stop or I can just simply brave the rain. Rain is an act of nature but the choices are mine.

The seven obstacles above are separate topics altogether. The point is we are in control and obstacles are part of the journey. Let us leave each other with a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”


I wrote this to correct or edit my last publication entitled: Don’t be such a pussy! I decided to publish both of them instead of deleting the other. – FREETOSPEAK.NET

When something stops me from doing what I wanted to do I ask myself what am I afraid of? When I am unable to execute what I wanted done I catch myself saying don’t be afraid. I would challenge myself by asking, what is the worse thing that can happen if it goes wrong? If the answer is nothing much, then just go ahead and do it. In fact, if it will do more good if we pull it off then the more reasons there are to just do it.  I realize that what truly stops me from doing things are my fears! Perhaps it’s the fear of falling and failing or the fear of embarrassing myself. For whatever reason, most of these fears are imagined than real. Sure these fears can happen if we fail to execute but who’s thinking of failing. We must conquer our fears because without fears we can do much more. Laura Wilkinson, an Olympic gold medalist platform diver said: “Fear has been a big battle, it runs rampant in my sport so I love to overcome that, to challenge head on, because there is nothing that feels as accomplished as overcoming a fear, and something that has blocked you in such a big way.”

Fear is a negative thought that stops us from getting things done. As do other negative thoughts and emotions like doubt, insecurities and all those that tell us, we can’t do it. We don’t have what it takes. We’re not good enough. I remember a cartoon show called Gallivers Travel and there’s this dwarf that keeps saying to everyone, “you’ll never make it, I know you wont”. This dwarf that tells us we cant do it are our “Underdog*” whereas those positive thoughts and emotions that tell us we can do it are our “Topdog*”. The idea is to overcome our underdogs and stop it from permeating our mind. What we need to do is listen to our topdogs. These are the thoughts that tell us we are good enough and that we are worthy and capable.


When something stops me from doing what I wanted to do i often catch myself saying: don’t be a pussy! When there are fears or doubts in my mind, I’ll hear me say don’t be a pussy! When I get afraid because there’s water in front of my next golf shot, I tell myself why are you such a pussy! Whenever I see others who are so picky and choosy, I catch myself saying don’t be such a pussy! I remember back in high school, studying in an all boys catholic school, whenever there are other boys who are still confused with their sexuality and behave differently, I feel uncomfortable. Even up to now! I chanced upon a standup comic of Joe Rogan, my UFC boy, and I was amused. What I remember about it is: there was a man who said he has lactose intolerance and Joe kind of said don’t be such a pussy! I told my daughter about this one day and I asked her, is your gay friend lactose intolerant? She said yes and I said OMG my gay friend is also lactose intolerant. I was thinking, how can you not drink milk since you were a baby, don’t be such a pussy!

I ask  myself: What is stopping me from behaving the way that I should especially if I know it is right? The answer I believe, are my fears and my doubts with a little dash of insecurities. Afraid that I will fail? Afraid to embarrass myself? What am I afraid of? These are my negative thoughts that makes me behave like a pussy,…sometimes!

I am not against freedom of expression. In fact, we should all express ourselves in the way we speak our thoughts; in the way we behave our thoughts; and even in the way we choose to dress up and present ourselves. We go back to the only freedom that God never took away from us: the freedom of choice or simply our “free will!”. This sets us apart from any other living creature here on earth. We were made in the same image and likeness of our Source. In  my case, in the same image and likeness of my God!

It is okay to be afraid. Its a feeling that puts boundaries and limits in the way we approach things. In order not to curtail our capacities, however, the basic question of: What am I afraid of? Has to be answered. Then we will know whether our fears are founded or not and behave accordingly.


Free Will! Freedom of speech! Say what’s on your mind without fear of being ridiculed. Listen with the intent to understand. Present and discuss your ideas with others. Say your opinion about it whether it is in agreement or total disagreement. As Eleanor Roosevelt puts it, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” This is how we come to terms with our differences in perspective. I have come to believe that nothing is truly right or wrong when it comes to points of view; everything is a matter of perspective. This is what this opinion blog is all about with the domain name FREETOSPEAK.NET. You’ll just have to say your piece on matters of importance. We cannot simply keep quiet about it. We encourage everyone to speak up and let your thoughts be known. Please feel free to banter with the thought expressed here. It’s okay to understand differences in how we see things. I won’t mind and I hope you guys won’t mind when your idea is opposed. Just a word of caution though, “how you say it is more important than what you say”. If we are to agree or disagree, please disagree with tact, with respect and with confidence.20140607_164834


What are we fighting about? Why do we fight evil with evil? Who among us have not done each other wrong let him cast the first stone. “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”, so the saying goes. You hurt one of us I’ll hurt many of you. You brutally kill our brethren I’ll violently kill yours. What are we trying to prove? That my religion is better than yours? That my God is more powerful than yours? Do we not serve the same God? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Ishmael? I understand that Abraham had two sons. His eldest son was born from a woman named, Hagar, an Egyptian handmaid of Sarah (Sarai), named Ishmael, the progenitor of the Ishmaelites and considered as the father of Arab Nations and the forefather of Muhammad. Muslims also believe that Muhammad was the descendant of Ishmael that would establish a great nation, as promised by God in the Old Testament. And then there was Isaac, the only son of Abraham from his wife, Sarah. Isaac is the son of promise in that it was through his lineage that Jesus the Messiah was born, thus fulfilling the promise that it would be through Abraham’s seed that all the nations of the earth would be blessed. Regardless of the story of these two brothers and the different claims that there are, do they not serve the same God, the same creator? The God whom we all serve so well and defend with our lives? The God of Abraham is our God and that makes us brothers as well. Do we not, the Muslims; the Christians; and the Judaists, have the same God? In each of our own perspectives and practices we seek to follow God’s will and be reunited with him. Let us stop terrorizing each other and bomb each other to obliteration. This fighting has to end and stop evil to reign in our midst. You’ll know its evil when what we do results to ending peoples’ lives. When it results to destruction; divisiveness; hatred and pain. With man’s intelligence and immense scientific discoveries, we can come up with the most powerful and most fatal weapon of mass destruction and use it against each other. We will count fatalities and get back at each other. Is this really what we want? Can we not just sit down together and accept that we’ve all made a mistake and resolve not to commit the same mistakes over and over again? Have we not learned the painful lessons of the past? It’s a pity that we already accept that war is forever! That nations will fight each other until death do us part. Once we’ve accepted this, then we’ll just have to cut each other’s throat.


Yes, we’ve done each other wrong. We have killed each other’s species. So what are we going to do now? We’ll just have to accept that we’ve made a mistake; learn to forgive; talk about it if we can; then work towards the propagation of goodness where there is unity, peace and harmony. My dear brothers, let us stop fighting each other. Are we not sick & tired of this? Can we not live in harmony together? If the “pains of the past” is too much, can we just learn to forgive each other? Our forefathers are the same and we serve the same God. You have your ways and I have mine Can we not coexist? Yes there’s a lot of anger and pain for the senseless and merciless killing of our brethren but can we just pause for a while and reflect? Is there a way that we can talk about this? Please leaders of nations talk with each other. Not just among allies and friends but to those who we consider as our enemies.